i like text posts. but no one else does. so i made this.

lunchbox-philosopher:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

everyone stop this is my new favorite joke ever

(via faramihr)

Notes
211129
Posted
1 week ago

orangewave:

sagethenate:

orangewave:

i mean really, who doesn’t want to be a mermaid

the little mermaid

fucking christ

(via cerseilannster)

Notes
452718
Posted
1 week ago

lyingmary:

imnotpooping75:

imnotpooping75:

where did noah keep his bees

IN THE ARK HIVES

Get the fuck away from me right now

(via queenebro)

Notes
197364
Posted
1 week ago

18004206969:

Yes. I’d like some bird seeds, thank you. and how long does it usually take for the birds to grow.

(via stormbornbarnes)

Notes
163545
Posted
3 weeks ago

jaegerirl:

fartgallery:

when you die and become a ghost are you forced to wear what you were wearing when you died for eternity or can you go to like Ghost Gap and buy some new ghost clothes

if theres ghost capitalism i swear to fuck ill be so mad

(via alterria)

Notes
184436
Posted
1 month ago

officialdubai:

you’re my rock…my dwayne….my johnson

(via thcmasmerlyn)

Notes
152043
Posted
1 month ago

javaddward:

anonymously tell me your credit card number ill reply with what i bought

(Source: heleanorcalder, via bobsfinstock)

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550502
Posted
1 month ago

adambloghart:

artaeologist:

there are five frogs staring at me right now

but only one can be america’s next top model

(Source: reconcicle, via spudsgood)

Notes
457766
Posted
2 months ago

jamsfranca:

LISZTOMANIA

BERE ASHLAHEA S CHKEELE GOOO

LAJALR IRAA RLAJAKLJ RAA OOOOOOH

NOT EASILY OFFENDED

(via henrytudors)

Notes
34236
Posted
2 months ago

wet-chrome:

I always feel like I should apologize for my personal posts, but then I realize that I have Ultimate Blog Power. I can write an essay about how sad I am and then post ten pictures of dogs rollerblading. You can’t stop me.

(via henrytudors)

Notes
101028
Posted
2 months ago